19 June 2017: The Eaters of Light review added.
11 June 2017: Empress Of Mars review added.
6 June 2017: Extremis/Pyramid At The End Of The World/Lie Of The Land review added.
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Since the first rule of fight club is not to talk about fight club, we’ll do our best to keep it snappy.
Shouldn’t be difficult. There really isn’t much to say, because so many other scripts have said it all first.
To be scrupulously fair, we quite enjoyed the first twenty-five minutes. The rival bunch kidnapping Weevils was intriguing: for a while, we were convinced there was a rival Torchwood-alike on the scene, one that could actually do what it says on the tin. (Maybe there was just a bit too much wishful thinking in there.) It was nice to see a bit of payoff for the Gwen/Rhys story. Tosh questioning Jack’s using the Weevil as bait is a very nice touch. And while Owen, sorry, Woe-en wallowing in self-pity was monumentally tedious, that’s par for the course.
Then at the twenty-five minute mark, we realised where the script was going. And it was worse than we thought: not only a Fight Club pastiche, a really bad Fight Club pastiche. With an estate agent. Mix that with the Willow Brainwashes Tara plot from Buffy, and it decomposed instantly.
But not before a general pity party with paper hats and balloons. Oh, boo hoo, Owen: get over yourself. You knew someone for a week and she left you. Not exactly the tragedy of the century, is it? Nor is it even slightly unusual. Deciding you’d rather be mauled to death than take the time to stick your heart back together? What a wimp.
As for Gwen, expecting Rhys to forgive her is amazingly self-involved: after finding out exactly why his girlfriend’s been treating him like shit, naturally that’s going to be Rhys’s prime concern, isn’t it? But then going further and manipulating her partner’s memory just to make herself feel better makes Gwen about as admirable a figure as Owen. One less reason to give a stuff about this show.
That’s all it’s getting. That’s all it deserves.
WE COULDN’T STAND YOUR COMPANY EITHER
“I came out to be alone”? We’d call this an oxymoron, but that would be a waste of the first two syllables.
THE AXIS OF WEEVIL
Why does Jack jump to the conclusion from seeing one Weevil groaning that somebody’s torturing Weevils? How does he know another one hasn’t stubbed its toe?