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13 December 2021: not really a review of Flux added.
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We could write these all day. (Sometimes we do.)
We already know It's bigger inside than out Please stop telling us
Third Doctor, Who con Please don't tell the tale again About the eyepatch
After one season Liz Shaw will be sadly missed By all but Pertwee
UNIT's secret base With enormous sign out front Don't tell anyone
Souvenir hunter Through time, space and old houses Where'd that compass go?
Action wannabe Will drive anything for fun But likes Bessie best
Vital task of day For Jo on way to UNIT Choose matching knickers
A Time Lord love match Doctor, Master, wedded bliss Well, that's our story
In trouble again Do you like jelly babies? Oh, well. Maybe not
Note to Sixth Doctor Arguing with companion Isn't exercise
Sixth Doc and Rani Once lovers in "The Brothers" A small universe
Poor little Peri Must get a lot of chest colds Give the girl some clothes
Novelty waistcoat Question mark umbrella too They're having a laugh
The Doctor returns Half human? I don't think so Nice new TARDIS though
Paul kisses Daphne Get your lips away from her You're breaking canon
A part-time Time Lord With alternative career Pro bono lawyer
In trouble at school? Try kidnapping your teachers In a police box
Scary? Not very Only when the lights are on Please keep the noise down
Disabled TARDIS Fit for habitation by Very small Vikings
A hail of bullets Some primitive dentistry And a loony tune
Tin men in freezer Evil foreigners abound What's this button do?
We want your planet Covered in foamy goodness Where did our fleet go?
A mini-Time Lord Goes home to shop for new face So that's who he is
Guts on the outside Is that a fashion statement? Gold paint is nicer
Crops have failed again If only life weren't so hard Too many villains
What's with the mind probe? Isn't suspicion enough For ruthless killers?
Third Doctor hunts ghosts Samples a cheeky vintage Nicks Gorgonzola
Furry teddy bear Rudely shaped ambassador And a proposal
Don't take us back there It was brilliant the first time But this is awful
Peril from the deep But we've seen it all before In "Silurians"
He's got a sky base He wants his own planet too It's all right - he's mad
Dandy, clown, fogey Three Doctors in deep trouble Omega is bad
Vicious things, Drashig All teeth. And teeth. And more teeth Let me out of here
It's not "The Daleks" Innovation replaced with Lectures on courage
I see Wotan's back This time he's brought some maggots And green slime too. Eww
Mike Yates a traitor Companion in fake ship shock Who would have thought it?
Who'd have thought we'd see Biggest bang in history On children's TV?
Transgendered villain Duck and cover - nuke attack We'll miss you, Sarah
Ten little androids Odd-looking country house, though Look out behind you
Baker and Martin Feet floating above the ground So not a good look
Warrior dude, green, Scattered through time, seeks artists For fun and profit
Boy with strange habits Tied up and enjoying it We don't want to know
Irritating brat The best thing he did was die Thank God that's over
Who's half-inched our plane? Lurking in the Pleistocene A nasty surprise
Cricket fan doctor Terileptil in batting gloves Don't bowl us over
Yodelling tin man The worst French accent in the world Hardly masterly
Immortality's Not all it's cracked up to be Unless you like stone
Panto horse? High kicks? Aced it, Doctor: there should have Been another way
Spotted a maypole? Don't let them give you a dress It'll end badly
Giant prawns underground Look out, he's got a hatstand! Who's nicked my TARDIS?
Davros is alive? Why can't the guy take a hint And die already?
Death by volcano Companion revolving door Much smoke without fire
Bye bye, Doctor. Like They say: it's not just a bunch Of old caves, you know
Who was it who said You can't make slug-egg omelette Without breaking legs?
Go get the welder Our great Cyberleader wants His stomach let out
Unfairly accused Acid bath scene on Varos He didn't do it
These two are morons But there's some consolation My TARDIS is cool
Viva l'Espana Anyone fancy some lunch? I'll get my cleaver
Tinselled time passage If you've got to be banished Take the scenic route
Welcome. Pick your door Baby Daleks on the right Protein on the left
If it looks like Earth And it has a Central Line It'll be Earth. Duh
Unclear on what's real? Don't bother with the red pill Take the marsh minnow
Four eps of horror Move along, nothing to see Except the Valeyard
Bit of a turn-up He says he's an alien But hey, whatever
To avoid crisis Don't let anyone hand you A load of old balls
Evil wisps of blue Seeking short holiday let In our dead grandmas
Just imagine this: You're about to deal out death And your zip gets stuck
Feel sorry for me I've got some bint's DNA Now I want a tan
Bankers are evil The media are corrupt Like you didn't know
I could turn back time It's no good, we'll all be munched Bye again, dead Dad
The phone is ringing Something about a mummy Maybe it's Sutekh
Chardonnay, handcuffs, Morality: great first date Look out guys, surf's up
Turns out that Rose had A galactic scribbling pad Don't inhale, Doctor
Christmas horoscope: Wake not the sleeping Time Lord Lucky foodstuff: fruit
Fresh out of the fridge I'm feeling a bit poorly How about a hug?
Cheeky naked child Dangerous dog off the lead We are not amused
Welcome home, Sarah Your visit was all too short Come back anytime
Feat of bravery Dashing knight on a white horse No match for TB
Tromping Cyberfeet Mickey in his underpants Hi, I'm Rose, again
Seen my face at all? I seem to have misplaced it Inside the telly
The seed of evil Or maybe just some vases Better not to know
Hi, my name's Elton This really is Doctor Who Don't change the channel
Will you be my friend? You'd look so good in charcoal Pass me that pencil
Goodbye, England's Rose But can't you please stop crying? Our screen's getting damp
Halfway down the aisle Swept away by a Time Lord How very dare you
Fly me to the moon You say you're a doctor? Snap Nice consulting room
Just one trip, he said No point telling anyone I'm the Dark Lady
Quarantine warning It seems the whole place has got A bad case of crabs
It's like swatting flies Soon as you get rid of them Four more come along
It's not all downside Yes, I'm a people-eater But hey, I'm not old
Gerroff, that's my sun Do you like my ViewMaster? Sure lights up my eyes
Sub rosa Time Lord An invisible spaceship What is this - Shada?
Garden ornaments Munching all your tomorrows Better stick to gnomes
My evil plans foiled But this time I'm staying dead See how you like that
I'm the Fifth Doctor Perhaps you remember me I'm much better now
Was that an iceberg? It would make just as much sense As these rocky things
Saviour of Oodkind Fights slavery while wearing Sweatshop Converses
Reduce your carbon And we'll all be knee deep in Sontaran babies
Hi, I'm Jenny Who Now I use guns, now I don't Kind of like my Dad
Must be going mad Could swear I saw a big wasp Too many sidecars
Fancy a picnic? Bring some nice meat sandwiches And something to read
Repeat after me I'm talking in stereo Hey, you nicked my words
Diet with Davros: Making new baby Daleks Exterminates pounds
Hey! Can you hear me? I think this cupboard door's stuck Is anyone there?
Holiday on Mars Lots of sand, great ice skating Don't drink the water
The Time Lord diet: Lose all of your body weight And be Time Lord Lite
Lost your eel? No prob Cause I just saw it sideways It's in the spare room
Cetacean engine Is not at all a turtle Nothing to see here
Would you like some tea? Sorry, I actually meant Extermination
Statues in the dark Battling terminal shyness They're stone cold killers
Fishes with fingers But there's a time and a plaice If you catch our drift